November 2, 2006
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Attaching with Allison
It has been 40 hours since I picked up Allison from the Baby House. We have been using this time to get to know each other and restart the attaching process. One of the things I’ve noticed is that she wants to be held and loved on more than she during the three weeks I was with her in September. During my first trip, she was ok with some cuddling, but wanted to play with her toys more. Since we have been in Almaty, she cries whenever I leave her sight while we are in our hotel room. She also wants to be held and cuddled more than she wants to play with her toys. I’m not sure if this is a sign that she is attaching to me or that she is a little traumatized from leaving behind everything and everyone she has ever known.
In one of the adoption books I read, there was an article about Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and adopted children. The theory behind the article is that a baby’s abandonment by their Mother, even at birth, is a traumatic experience because a baby is born knowing its Mother and expecting its mother to be there when it is born to take care of her. Abandoned babies grieve the loss of their Mother especially when they are placed in an orphanage with multiple caregivers. Depending upon the level of care they receive in the orphanage and to the extent their various needs are met, abandoned children can experience multiple traumatic experiences that actually cause their brains to release different chemicals because they are always in a fight or flight mode. While being adopted and finding forever parents is a good thing, it can also be stressful and traumatic to the child being adopted. Adopted children have to learn that parents are different from caregivers and learn to trust that their adopted parents will not abandon them.
I gave Allison her first bath this morning. I don’t think she knew quite what to make of it, but she didn’t cry. She also went through three outfits today not counting the sleeper she slept in last night! She is still spitting up a lot after she eats. I don’t know if this is normal, but I’m going to mention it to her pediatrician. Needless to say, Mommy had to change clothes a few times today as well. I thought I may have bought too many clothes for her before I left, but if she is going to go through 3 to 4 outfits a day, I probably didn’t buy enough! Between Allison and my cats, I will need to make sure I have lots of Resolve carpet cleaner on hand! Maybe a carpet cleaner wouldn’t be a bad investment.
Another thing I will need to ask her doctor is whether she is eating enough. She is only drinking three 6 oz bottles per day and eating 3 large jars of baby food or about 18 oz of food per day. I don’t know if she can hold much more than one large jar of baby food at a time. I’m beginning to realize there are lots of things about raising a child that I will need to learn.
Allison slept through the night. She went to bed at about 9:30 last night and slept until about 6:30am. She did cry out a few times, but always went back to sleep within a minute or two. While Allison slept through the night, Mommy didn’t. I kept waking up every hour or so and checking on her. Hopefully, Mommy can sleep through the night tonight as well as Allison. She also took a two hour nap this afternoon, which meant Mommy took a nap too!
Good news! It looks like we are coming home on Saturday instead of next Tuesday or Wednesday. We have an appointment with the U.S. Consular’s office at 2:30 pm tomorrow. If everything goes as planned and we can get seats on the flight leaving Almaty on Saturday at 3:30 am, we will arrive in Dulles at 2:30 pm the same day. Keep your fingers crossed!
I’ve uploaded a few new pictures of Allison playing in our hotel room. We hope to see everyone soon.
